Monsterification
by Jelena Savić

Could you love a monster I was wondering?

It’s a question of self-love.

Who made you a monster?

Somebody.

Does it hurt?

I was born in pain. It is integrated. It hurts on different realities. It modal monstrosity, a shape shifter causing the pain of bone braking when it shifts.

What kind of a monster are you?

Is it a question of the politics of identity?

I am me. My kind of a monster.

Can you be demonsterized?

Maybe, but I am afraid it's as being born on a surgery table.

You are an alien?

I am a monster, I am from this world, I do not see myself as an alien. But I betray the species. A monster.

You are unique?

I am a unique serial product. Disgusting, shameful, open wounded monstrous event.

Are you material?

I cannot tell. Maybe I am software learned to suffer as a monster. There is no Turing test for monsters.

Are you Frankenstein’s creature?

Maybe I am his undestroyed unfinished bride; more monstrous and impossible to exist even in Frankenstein’s reality, or maybe scary Swamp Girl, but I believe I have a soul.

Can you love such a terrible monster?

Maybe if I were blind. But I am not blind. Fear and terror, unacceptably liminal, interspecies, deformed, abomination, dangerous and out of control, looking at the mirror, terrified, in the terror of existence, I am not blind. A monster. Kill me. And I do. I die the death of a thousand cuts. And I get a fortune cookie. It says, "You will understand your true nature when the time is right. You will find love in compassion". But it’s only a cookie. They say I am a monster of a Gipsy origin, but I don’t believe in fortune telling. What use is an origin when you are a monster? You are unprecedented, per se.